There is part 1 of this blog post about money you may check first. I recommend it, although you may also return to it after you finish reading this one.
D. “Economics is not the science of money. It’s a science of behavior.” (4)
People expect financial success as if it was granted to them on their birthday. I mean, why not? We are all born equal, right?. The problem is that we are ultimately not satisfied with being equal. Equal is apparently not rich enough anymore. An average income is not sexy. Days, when financial stability was a noble privilege of hard work, are long gone now. People expect not only to live comfortably; they expect the wealth they see on the covers of luxury magazines. People want to shine with money.
But there is a trap. A growing inequality, which we experience (both in developing countries or mature economies), sets the trap. The more billionaires’ fortunes spike, the more people found themselves under the line of average to balance it, a simple statistical truth. Being just a mere millionaire is not impressive like it used to.
Because the mediocrity is not satisfying, suddenly, more and more people feel stuck in a place where, according to their perception, they are not financially complete. So they push hard, try harder, and the more effort they put in, the more substantial gratification they expect. And when the reward is not coming, the failure seems more costly and disappointing.
Such expectations in the world of money, almost always induce emotions we are unaware of or unwilling to examine. Unchecked, these emotions have free rein to influence our behavior, mostly unconsciously. And this “dance with emotions” is one of the major forces affecting our relationship with money; here are some considerations:
Our expectations (the seeds of emotions) are set based on the comparison. Whether you compare to what you know for sure or just imagine/fancy, it does not matter for your brain. And if the brain does not recognize the difference, all can become real. A mistake while choosing who or what you are comparing to, will always lead you astray.
Why is it so dangerous? Influential people love to sell you fake narratives when describing their lives, happiness, or the way to fortune in the media. So if these fake stories overtake your reality, they will change your map of reality. Navigating through life based on a false map will always elegantly wipe out your money or put your life into the slavery of earning money you actually don’t need. And it does not matter how hard you try, because you will simply go faster in the entirely wrong direction.
It is not money, but emotions that finally determine whether we feel happy, and our life makes sense. If you continuously keep comparing yourself to wealthier people, you risk losing sight of what you do possess. It is the reason there are so many unhappy people with seemingly vast amounts of money. Their focus is on what they lack instead of how to enjoy what they have fully.
Some people design their financial needs according to a grand goal that defines their life. And many make the same mistake – adopting their goals based on what other people want for them. Not what they want. The world of advertisement is full of stories, full of whispers and wishes. Although they always are the other people’s preferences – you are being manipulated that they are yours. It is so easy to assume their desire is all you want – a costly mistake. Before you start saving or invest – it is always worth examining thoroughly: what you, in the depth of your heart, what you want from life.
So take your time to understand yourself before you commit with money. As time passes, desires shift, and lesser necessities fade. Based on temporary feelings, people frequently adapt and change their actions, which they believe will lead them to prosperity. In most cases, frequent changes result in a lack of consistency, something successful investments require most. Besides, time solves many problems by itself. Wait and observe is also a valid strategy. Being patient pays off, cause money doesn’t like to be rushed.
It is worth to notice that unbalanced chasing for money always leaves a distinctive footprint of emotions that others may want to exploit. Some organizations or individuals live solely to feed on it. The more common or limited your behavioral reaction is, the more vulnerable you are. The most typical way to manipulate you is by creating false urgency because it limits the time for your rational response. There are very few opportunities that require you to invest immediately, here and now, but there are many deception schemes that request it.
E. “There is a secret tactic in the approach to money. Most people don’t know it. And that’s why most people never achieve financial success. Lack of Money is not a problem; it’s just a symptom of what’s happening inside you.” (5)
People like to believe that money is a goal, why it is merely a byproduct. If your life priorities are right – you are not chasing money, you do something you enjoy, and the others respect. You continuously grow thanks to it. That is why your life has a meaning. It is never because of money. Money, it’s your possession – it should serve. Too often, though, it enslaves its master. It is so easy to turn from the master to a slave in an instant.
Money, like happiness, can not be forced, but it can be attracted. Eventually, if you get them violently, they will leave you or become empty (they will lose their calories and become like food that cannot fill). And if it’s not enough, the luck will undoubtedly leave you (as fate loves freedom and resist force), and then all that is left is the obsession.
Then, there are people out there who are invisible to money as if a fortune wouldn’t notice or like them. No matter how hard they try – they are unable to accumulate or retain wealth. They think the world and gods are against them, so they decide to change the world and pray to gods to send them prosperity. All in vain, because what they need to change is themselves. And it is all they can change. Their attitude must mature first so they can return to the path of wealth – and it takes time.
In a world of money, attitude is everything. Women continuously fall in love with guys who do not need them or care little. Be flirty – yes, be relaxed and smile a lot – double yes, be bold and cheeky – surprisingly passes, but show that you want her too much, become needy – that’s an instant turn-off. It is the same with money. It needs to be seduced.
Money likes people who are complete. If you are looking for money to replace something inside of you that you are missing, you will be disappointed. Like in a relation, when you think you are half of the orange, and you can only be complete while with another person, the other half. An incomplete person will always fail with money, the same as he/she will form a deficient relation.
It seems like there are two different, yet good attitudes that work. One is persistence, which is symbolized by savings: you know what you want, and you continuously approach your goal, the wealth awaits you, and when you met, the road to it made you humble. Consistency, patience, and modesty play a crucial role in this approach. It is not wise to underestimate the power of persistence since many fortunes had emerged this way.
The other is boldness; when you challenge the fortune with a smile (never greed). Your goals are audacious and the risks extensive. You love it and do not mind if you lose, because you know how to bounce. You are OK if experience and knowledge is all that is left. Great! As far as it is genuinely you – go on. If you are prepared to take another leap after you fail this one with a smile, you may enjoy it.
Managing money, almost always involves an understanding of yourself, of what you want in life. You should be the origin of what is the purpose of the money you earn and the reasons behind the time and energy invested. Knowing yourself is a first and necessary step into the world of moneymaking. Do you know yourself at all? Because if you don’t, the stock exchange or investing may become an expensive way to learn who you are.
To be continued.
Read previous post What your father failed to tell you about money. Part 1.
Notes:
(4) Daniel H. Pink – “The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us”
(5) Jack Canfield “The success principles.”
Thanks.